What on Earth makes you think I want to read on a thrice daily basis about:
1) Your entirely unremarkable kid Yep, I have a daughter. And yeah, I love her to bits. That is not an invitation to add me because "OMFG NO WAY I'M A MOM TOO!" - I am not in the least bit interested in reports of what your toddler has eaten on a meal by meal basis (I wish I was joking). Whether your baby turned over in the night, learned to say dada, pulled a face, is wearing pink pyjamas is of NO interest to me or anyone else, and frankly shouldn't be enough to send you into pant-wetting paroxysms of delight, either. It's CREEPY to be that obsessed with your kid. Would you post so often about your husband or brother's every move? No. That's a member of your family. Love is appropriate and healthy. Obsession isn't.
Which brings me neatly onto...
2) Your carnal lust for My Chemical Romance - or whatever other crappy band you like. What the hell is wrong with you? Are you 13 years old? Behave! You see that uncomfortable mix of pity and amusement on the lead singer's face in the photograph with his arm round you? Are you not embarassed? Get a life!
Leading me, naturally, to..
3) Your dull, dull, dull life. With nary an interesting thought. Got up. Had muesli for breakfast, which makes a change from toast, maybe it's better for me. Went to work. Manager was being a bitch. Got home. Fed the cat. Phoned my mum and my uncle is in hospital to have his tonsils out. - AAARRRRGH! How do you not throw yourself in traffic? WHY do you not throw yourself in traffic? At least it would stop you from leaving comments on everyone else's LJs that just say ":)" or "*HUGS*". Go AWAY. I don't get how you don't see how fucking dull you are!
I also don't get..
4) Your fanfic What? Someone wrote a book that you like. Or made a film you like. With you so far. So you wrote a story with your own barely-high-school-standard skills in prose wherein the leading character has sex with someone that they don't in the original story. I've ceased to follow.. WHAT? Ew. And, er, our survey says "CRAP!". I bet you were the sort of kid who got ignored by everyone at school. I bet you still don't understand why. You're only marginally less sad than the handful of grown women I've seen playing with oversized realistically proportioned dolls. And they are a subset I am not even going to get started on because I don't think I could stop.